So if I creatively procrastinate, does it count as creativity?

This is post is part of the Insecure Writers' Support Group


So I've actually kept up a semblance of a blog for at least a couple of months now, even though I still don't think I've really found a good "voice" for it.

Is this a Pagan blog? There are so many great ones out there, who really needs another?

A random crap that happens in my life blog? I think I've ended up defaulting a lot of the time to this, but ultimately, that isn't what I was going for.

A writing blog? Well, I did start it as a place to experiment a bit with my writing, but I've been a bit shy about putting stuff out there. Part of me worries stuff I write will be just awful so I'll only end up embarrassing myself. The other part worries that if any of this is actually any good, some idiot will come along and steal it.

I shelved the question for a little bit by throwing myself into some long overdue basement renovation. I promised the kids ages ago this would get done and as August wound down, it seemed as good of a time as any. My mother made a huge fuss over it over course, as if I were single-handedly demolishing a square block in Center City Philly and then rebuilding skyscrapers from metal I had forged myself (well, the wall texture paint compound was kind of heavy for me to lift, I managed just fine). But there was something therapeutic about it; not just getting one long overdue project I had procrastinated on near completion but the creative process of painting the faux stone work (it's supposed to resemble a castle wall), of picking out the right decorations that have been gathering dust in our basement (sword replicas! coats of arms! fake torches! An Asian scroll!) and making something cozy from what had once been just another arachnid sanctuary (don't worry, said arachnids have been gently encouraged to skitter to the laundry room or discretely take shelter behind some of the second hand furniture that's been moved down there). I took a lot of joy in that creative process.

I know that when I finally get really going with one of the bigger writing projects I have in mind, I'll feel that same joy in creation. There is still the worry of "what if it sucks?" creeping around the back of my mind with writing that certainly wasn't involved in the basement project. Hell, if I just threw a TV and some folding chairs down there, my son would still use it to escape his sister for a bit - there was no way my "audience" would have hated the result. I suppose maybe the answer is to stop thinking of "audiences" and start thinking of what makes me happy.

The next two Fridays I'll be posting bits of short fiction I've written. These aren't anything fancy, but more like writing exercises I'm OK with having the general internet see. I'd love feedback on them if you get a moment.


6 comments:

  1. Just stopping by from the IWSG to say Hi :)

    Good for you honey, for planning to post some pieces of fiction on your blog :) I was as nervous as hell when i did it the first time, but now, i do it on a regular basis. On the whole, people have been really good with their comments (I've never had anyone be damn right nasty) and i have learnt loads.

    Good luck!

    xx

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  2. Hi Vikki! Thank you for the pep talk. I'm a bit nervous but I am looking forward to some constructive criticism. It helps that I've come to think of these almost as "assignments" I've written rather than samples of my writing, if that makes any sense.

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  3. I love your title. LOL
    "They" say that thinking about writing is part of the actual pre-writing process...
    Hope that helps!
    Btw, I also started out posting snippets of flash fiction... and was terrified at first! Like almost hyperventilating.
    Give it a shot! You can do it!
    Michelle
    September co-host for the IWSG.
    Writer In Transit

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  4. Hi Michelle! Thanks, LOL, I guess then I can feel like I've been somewhat productive, in that I've thought quite a bit about a few scenes in what may be a novel length story. I've been shifting and playing with them quite a bit in my mind, but I just need to prioritize better to get the time to work on those. I think once I have those down, it might make things a little easier.

    The first story is up and out there *gulp* It was nerve wracking, hitting that "publish" button, but I feel better for having done it.

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  5. I spend at least two thirds of my writing time thinking about what'll put on the page. Most of the time, when I get to the computer I have most of the details of the story. So, I guess creative procrastination isn't that bad. If it is, then I am in huge trouble!

    Can't wait to read some fiction!

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  6. Well, since I have the bulk of the basement stuff done (I'm just waiting for the various charity pick up days to take the remaining unneeded items), I have no excuse but to put down those thoughts on paper, er, laptop. I plan to start scheduling time to get those "good bits" down and see what I'll do with them once I see them outside my brain.

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